Last year I wrote about a sweater I wanted to make:

My grandmother has been knitting me jumpers and cardigans all my life. My all-time favourite jumper was one she knitted me when I was eleven. I chose the colours myself - forest green and dark red - and I wore it until my gran decided she had better knit me another one. Unfortunately I did not get to choose the colours second time around as I was living in London, not rural Denmark, and I ended up with a beige/fawn combination which I loathed.

(..)

I want to knit that jumper. I want my forest-green/red jumper back and I have the pattern right here in front of me. It is a 24-stitches/37-rows repeat, and fortunately I have Gran's marginal notes so I can follow her math. I plan on knitting it in the round as well, but I am not sure about the sleeve construction. Should I steek for drop-shoulders? Should I attempt to re-chart the pattern for a round yoke? I know I will be wanting a high-turtleneck.

Ah, one day.

At least my Vicar's Fields Mitts are knitted in the right colour combination in a pattern reminiscent of the geometrical Faroese patterning used in the cardigan/sweater.

Maybe this time next year I will have taken yet another step towards a project which feels Terribly Important.

As I explained:

I am actually a bit afraid of undertaking this project due to its many layers of meaning. By undertaking this project I will be admitting that Gran is no longer able to knit me a jumper and that I am, in a sense, "taking over" from her. In fact, I am now knitting her things, not the other way around.

By knitting this jumper I am also reaching out to my own younger self - that young girl who feared so many things and felt so horribly out of place. And I am attempting to replace something which meant a great deal to me and I am afraid that my recreation will not measure up.

I maintain that handmade things have layers of meaning that mass-produced items cannot possibly emulate (Walter Benjamin? I have a head full of swirling fog today, so I will leave it up to others to write about auratic art. No, I'm still not well). Certainly this future project of mine holds so many implications for me that it feels like a truly aspirational project rather than any old colourwork project.

One day. I promise.

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