News

Blue Is The Colour

This is highly amusing. It is an edited transcript of Newcastle football club interim manager Joe Kinnear's first official press conference yesterday:

JK: Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?

SB: Me.

JK: You're a c*nt.

SB: Thank you.

JK: Which one is Hickman [Niall, football writer for the Express]? You are out of order. Absolutely f*cking out of order. If you do it again, I am telling you you can f*ck off and go to another ground. I will not come and stand for that f*cking crap. No f*cking way, lies. F*ck, you're saying I turned up and they [Newcastle's players] f*cked off.

And the press conference just gets better and better from there. Thank you, Live-In Boyfriend, for pointing this one out. It's hysterical.

A Serious Post On Politics, Sorry

Statistically there is a twenty percent chance that Sarah Palin will have to act as President of the USA someday - a fact based upon presidential history* - or an even greater chance if you also factor in McCain's age, his medical history and his unwillingness to release current medical records. Bearing that in mind, Sarah Palin's interview with Katie Couric is the most terrifying thing I have seen in a long, long time. And now the McCain campaign has been suspended. The Republican presidential hopeful has rushed to Washington to give everybody a good piece of his mind and instead of letting the VP nominee do her job of stepping in for McCain, he has called off everything for the moment. Although, come to think of it, would you let Palin debate politics with Barack Obama if you were her boss?

Clive Cook's piece was written before the suspension of the campaign but his observation is even more interesting now:

"I do think Obama is handling the crisis much better than McCain--not because he is suggesting better remedies (he continues to say little), but because his instinct to reflect before opening his mouth and his impeccable taste in advisers are both working to his advantage.

These factors I think are much more important than the supposed popularity of standard Democratic positions on economic management. Unlike McCain, Obama offers no instant bold responses, needing to be qualified or withdrawn or forgotten soon after. As ever, he looks calm, methodical and unruffled--and has his picture taken in conference with Paul Volcker, Bob Rubin and Larry Summers, who command wide respect. His response may be thin, so far, on content, but it is an altogether more reassuring posture than his rival's tendency to hasty and exaggerated certainty.

Finally, as a self-identified Humanist, knowing that Palin was somewhat recently blessed to be free from 'witchcraft' is just unfathomable and, again, terrifying.

I'm struggling here, America. I really am.

*according to Lawrence Lessing

Tuesday Linkage

I may be in the throes of female hormones, so here are some calming links. + Smugopedia: "Smugopedia is a collection of slightly controversial opinions about a variety of subjects. We offer you the chance to buy a fleeting sense of self-satisfaction at the small cost of alienating your friends and loved ones."

+ It’s Not You, It’s Your Books: Literary dealbreakers. I once dated a guy who had a shelf of Oprah-esque self-help books. I'm not saying that's why I broke up with him.. but we only lasted a week after that discovery.

+ Pretty staircases. Note that the URL is NSFW but the content is very, very SFW. This is my personal favourite (first photo).

+ A Field Guide to Ten Most Common Frontmen Styles. My favourite frontman happens to be a cross between no. 6 and no. 10. Hmm.

+ The Lost Tribes of Green Sahara. Beautiful photography.

+ Sarah Palin is Your New.. What? Many people have opinions on just what who Palin is. I quite like "..Hail Mary" and "Faustian Bargain" but my absolute favourite is "Star Wars: Episodes I - III Plus The Clone Wars". Heh.

Addendum: Booker Shortlist.

Old Boys' Club

Aspiring authors of the Anglophone persuasion, take note:

Hamish Hamilton, an imprint of Penguin, (..) gets four or so [manuscripts] a week - despite a note on the website that declares "Sadly, we're unable to consider unsolicited manuscripts. The best way to find a publisher is through an agent." These four are given to people in the office for a week or two on work experience; if they think there's any merit in the submission, it goes to publishing director Simon Prosser or one of his permanent colleagues. Yet nothing in the past 10 years has actually ended up in print that way. The only books that have been published and not arrived via an agent were recommended by friends in the publishing industry, or by Hamish Hamilton's writers, "which is slightly different, because there is some connection," says Prosser.

Aida Edemariam, an editor, has something to say about authors, agents and the publishing industry. The rules are slightly different in Denmark but not as different as you might expect.

Hurricane Season

For some reason this escaped my attention: three years after Hurricane Katrina, Banksy visits New Orleans. I still remember my friend E. sitting in her Copenhagen flat with the post-Katrina issue of Newsweek/Time. She opened the magazine, looked at the aerial photo of New Orleans and put her finger on a completely devastated area: "That is where I lived until just recently." She had worked in New Orleans during Hurricane Ivan and had decided not to endure another hurricane season.

io9 has an interesting photo feature on Hurricane Gustav: "New Orleans is fast becoming one of the most disaster-prepared cities in the world.."

On Speeches and Speech Acts?

So Obama is betting on the word's enduring power as a reformer of American life. Historically he has good reason for, from the beginning, words and texts have constructed American realities, not the other way round. The spell cast on Americans by the mantle of words goes all the way back to the first Great Awakening in the 1740s when flocks thrilled to Methodist preachers such as George Whitefield. Evangelical passion remains a brilliant strand in the weave of American discourse, but when it made way for the reasoning of the enlightenment deists and unitarians who made the revolution, another element of American speech-power sounded loud and clear: the reverence for classical oratory. The Republican bet is that all this is a thing of the past; that, self-evidently, we live in the age of images, and words are just the add-ons to the beguilement of the eye; that all we have are soundbites. Obama's is the more stunning gamble; that so far from the digital age killing off the reign of the word, it has actually given logos a whole new lease of life.

Simon Schama on Barack Obama's acceptance speech, August 28, 2008.

Unsurprisingly my brain went 'ping!' when I realised Schama was trying to make a point about the performative and transformative powers of language. Always nice to be thrown some discourse analysis over breakfast. Even more unsurprising: the comments to the piece are almost all uniformly refusing to take up Schama's gauntlet.